my blessed life.

i found out this week that one of my dearest friends has cancer. it's a little crazy to think that someone my age could go through a trial so large.

it reminded me of the feelings i found during conference though. i kept thinking that the gospel makes you happy. it provides a way to face these trials. so that as you go through them, they don't even seem like trials. they just seem like that is life.

i know that is how my friend is. her personality is so strong and faithful. i have no doubts. her future is pointed towards the temple. her family. her sweet baby. her husband. they are eternal. and that route though hard. will be on course. it's like sister reeves said, though the details of your story will be different. the principles will be the same.

the meaning of writing this is to show gratitude for the life that i live. i am so happy it's finally fall. i wait all year for fall. because i love it so much. it's also such a fun time now with TWO babies born in the fall and our anniversary. it's a kickoff to the holidays. and football season. there are so many things i love about fall.

the only difference i have felt this fall is that it shows that time is passing. as much as i love this season. it also makes me look at my beautiful, blonde, happy, determined, smart daughter. she is going to be four soon. four is much too old for me. i think that i should only have babies, never four year olds. i am lucky to have these fall babies, i get to keep her with me for the rest of this year and not send her to kindergarten until the following september. the benefits. my energetic, patient, obedient, calm, chubby baby is going to be one. one is old. one is not a baby. one is almost the age you go on a mission. at least that is how it feels. with time passing so quickly, i am pretty sure i'll be a grandma in three days.

nic is working hard. and for some reason that is the thing we constantly thank heavenly father and of course nic for. for his hard work. his stamina in waking up morning after morning for another work day. though nic enjoys his work and his career. i also feel like there is so much more to nic then that he works hard for his family.

he is so tender. he loves me so perfectly. he is never loud. he has such a tender way about him. he is so determined and driven. not just in his work but in the future of our family. he has high hopes for our children. he has dreams that are as big as the sky. these things are the things i am thankful for as well. i am thankful for his un-relentless teasing and poking of the baby. that he plays horse with sweet ruby and praises her drawings and accomplishments. i am grateful for when he knows i need food or sleep or a tub. i am grateful he makes that happen for me.

our routine of life is perfect here in las vegas. it is a learning experience but i see progression each and every day. i love trying and making goals and evaluating. it's one step forward and two steps back. but it's something. the days are looong. and i am not alone in this. i know it, because every talk about motherhood reminds me that others have been through this. i don't want to hurry it. because i need and desire to treasure these moments with my babies.

our home is warm and inviting. it's always messy. never is it clutter free anymore. the dishes, the laundry, the toys. they pile up. no matter how hard we try and keep things looking neat. that is ok. i am learning that there are much more important things in life then putting away the paper and crayons every hour after ruby has drawn me a masterpiece. sometimes those papers and crayons get more use if you let them sit out on the counter all week.

i am homesick. i feel an ache for the crisp weather, the familiarity of my surroundings, my momma, chic-fil-a and the things i love about utah. but, that is ok. it's good to miss where you've been. i ached for wisconsin for months after returning home. i still think of wisconsin and my heart beams with love. i hope i always love utah any my home of so long. but that doesn't mean i won't or cannot love las vegas. i am happy here. we are happy here.

it's nice being together the four of us. on an adventure.

my life couldn't be more blessed. i could be a lot better. but my life is great and i need to remember that. instead of insisting on what we lack ie: cornbelly's, new make up, more decorations. be satisfied and committed to the now.