four.

ruby nicole.

when i think of you. i think of your LONG (your hair is almost as long a rapunzel's!), whispy, blonde, and often messy hair. i see it snarly because of your loathing for brushing it out. i am glad that i am ok with letting you have that snarly hair. i think i will miss it when you are out of the house more. i will miss it when you learn to do your own hair.

i think of the softest, delicate skin. your nose. your complexion. your mole on your thigh. i love that your skin is so perfect. i think of your bright, blue eyes. they are so big. they seek knowledge and i love that. you are constantly excited and looking forward to getting more out of every experience. i think of your lips. those big ol' red lips. i love the words you speak out of those big lips. you are getting so smart and using words that i think you are much to young to use like; ginormous, schedule, exactly.

you are good at so many things. being a big sister is at the top of the list though. you love your bro. he loves you too. and though at times it's SO annoying to have to share everything with him. you do such a good job. you take care of him better than i ever expected. this year, this challenge of having a new baby and part of our family. you have risen to that task and made sure to be the best big sister you could be. i love that you are concerned for him. you want him to be comfortable, happy and you love to make him laugh.

i am sorry you broke your leg. it was such a silly thing that has really impacted us. i am proud of you for enduring it well. you are good on your one foot. we have had so much fun learning together and practicing preschool together. thank you for being patient with mommy as your teacher. it's probably annoying to have to stare at the same face everyday. but you are doing so well. your letters are coming along so well. i have never been more proud of anything then when you know how to write your letters.

my blessed life.

i found out this week that one of my dearest friends has cancer. it's a little crazy to think that someone my age could go through a trial so large.

it reminded me of the feelings i found during conference though. i kept thinking that the gospel makes you happy. it provides a way to face these trials. so that as you go through them, they don't even seem like trials. they just seem like that is life.

i know that is how my friend is. her personality is so strong and faithful. i have no doubts. her future is pointed towards the temple. her family. her sweet baby. her husband. they are eternal. and that route though hard. will be on course. it's like sister reeves said, though the details of your story will be different. the principles will be the same.

the meaning of writing this is to show gratitude for the life that i live. i am so happy it's finally fall. i wait all year for fall. because i love it so much. it's also such a fun time now with TWO babies born in the fall and our anniversary. it's a kickoff to the holidays. and football season. there are so many things i love about fall.

the only difference i have felt this fall is that it shows that time is passing. as much as i love this season. it also makes me look at my beautiful, blonde, happy, determined, smart daughter. she is going to be four soon. four is much too old for me. i think that i should only have babies, never four year olds. i am lucky to have these fall babies, i get to keep her with me for the rest of this year and not send her to kindergarten until the following september. the benefits. my energetic, patient, obedient, calm, chubby baby is going to be one. one is old. one is not a baby. one is almost the age you go on a mission. at least that is how it feels. with time passing so quickly, i am pretty sure i'll be a grandma in three days.

nic is working hard. and for some reason that is the thing we constantly thank heavenly father and of course nic for. for his hard work. his stamina in waking up morning after morning for another work day. though nic enjoys his work and his career. i also feel like there is so much more to nic then that he works hard for his family.

he is so tender. he loves me so perfectly. he is never loud. he has such a tender way about him. he is so determined and driven. not just in his work but in the future of our family. he has high hopes for our children. he has dreams that are as big as the sky. these things are the things i am thankful for as well. i am thankful for his un-relentless teasing and poking of the baby. that he plays horse with sweet ruby and praises her drawings and accomplishments. i am grateful for when he knows i need food or sleep or a tub. i am grateful he makes that happen for me.

our routine of life is perfect here in las vegas. it is a learning experience but i see progression each and every day. i love trying and making goals and evaluating. it's one step forward and two steps back. but it's something. the days are looong. and i am not alone in this. i know it, because every talk about motherhood reminds me that others have been through this. i don't want to hurry it. because i need and desire to treasure these moments with my babies.

our home is warm and inviting. it's always messy. never is it clutter free anymore. the dishes, the laundry, the toys. they pile up. no matter how hard we try and keep things looking neat. that is ok. i am learning that there are much more important things in life then putting away the paper and crayons every hour after ruby has drawn me a masterpiece. sometimes those papers and crayons get more use if you let them sit out on the counter all week.

i am homesick. i feel an ache for the crisp weather, the familiarity of my surroundings, my momma, chic-fil-a and the things i love about utah. but, that is ok. it's good to miss where you've been. i ached for wisconsin for months after returning home. i still think of wisconsin and my heart beams with love. i hope i always love utah any my home of so long. but that doesn't mean i won't or cannot love las vegas. i am happy here. we are happy here.

it's nice being together the four of us. on an adventure.

my life couldn't be more blessed. i could be a lot better. but my life is great and i need to remember that. instead of insisting on what we lack ie: cornbelly's, new make up, more decorations. be satisfied and committed to the now.

our week: hello october

the best part of utah is the fall.

the best part of the year is october.

i live in las vegas.

to say i came down with depression this week, would be an understatement.

i also had a fever. and a sore throat. and puked, all week. it's been real fun.

needless to say today i am dressed. and my hair is done. and i'm wearing makeup. which means that today has been a great success.

church was actually wonderful. we are learning to love the ward. and learning that every ward and place you go has it's funny quirks, but you learn to love them. you learn to miss them and find that they make things good. we miss the founders park we miss the fox pointe and we will one day miss the windmill.

we have a calling as the youth sunday school teachers. this is a happy thing. i love the youth and i love teaching. the thing i love most is my nic and so teaching with my companion of choice, has many benefits. we are a funny team and i like that.  the youth are great. it's everyone 12-18 and that means we have to teach everyone on their level. it's a challenge. but it is exciting as well. the teaching helps us have our personal study focused on the same thing and that in turn makes our companion and family study more focused. i feel like one of my trials in studying the gospel is that there is so much. i often feel overwhelmed and that makes it hard to focus on one topic. so we are now focusing on the youth themes together.

sunday's are so calm and relaxing. weekends in general are now that we are completely moved in and have no where to go. it couldn't be better for nic and i. we tend to be busy bodies and i cannot tell you how many saturday mornings we plan to run on errand and leave and not get back until after dinner. it's been a fabulous relief to us. we love being with our little family, these moments are special and it's great to treasure them up.

by sunday night the fever and chills had really struck me and nic tried to take the best care of me he could. but he isn't one for taking care of people after 10:30pm. he's a bit of a machine so having nic do anything from 10:30-6:30 is usually a lost cause. but he did try and for that i'm thankful. he always worries when he wakes up and says i tried i promise i tried. the little cutie.

my kiddos were fabulous and just helped me have a lazy day. i am always amazed at how good my kiddos are and grateful. always grateful.

i told nic there was no way i could feed the missionaries. our house was in shambles and so he took bro out on a date with the elders. sis and i watched movies. and enjoyed a little gal time. she was very disappointed that dad did not take her!