the days when you feel like a great mom, a happy wife, and an accomplished human being are few and far between. at least for me. i doubt myself far too often. i look for the support and encouragement from others (especially my husband!). but i don't often think to myself, hailey, you have it down.
except this week. we have had a wild and crazy last four months. from ruby's birthday and being 35 weeks pregnant, to our anniversary, halloween, new baby fitz, thanksgiving, the holidays, finishing school up, christmas, new years, one calm week, vegas, deciding to move, packing, moving, and having two sweet sweet sweet young souls to feed, bathe, nourish, teach, love, etc... it's been a lot. i knew it was the perfect time to have baby because i had my life down with ruby. i kept up my house, i made dinners, i taught ruby, i worked out, we all slept.
so i knew during this chaos i had to keep going with the things that were working.
things that work at my house, DEEP cleaning your house every friday.
things that weren't working at my house.
bedtime.
moving into my parents house is an incredible, scary, life changing and generous blessing from both the lord, the hammonds, and my parents. we literally packed everything we own in two weeks and moved it to a storage unit (thank you dommy!). we took our clothes, mine and nic's bedroom set, our computers, and a few choice items to my parents (including toothbrushes!). but... my life is literally in a storage unit.
we moved in on friday night and had a whirlwind weekend of unpacking, projects, cleaning and our new ward. nic found out monday he was going to vegas tuesday. and tuesday was the longest day of my life. promise i looked at the clock every 12 minutes from 4pm until bedtime.
but i did also say a prayer.
basically... i have to do this. this is what i chose. this is where you've guided us. help me do it. show me how. show me and i'll do it.
but i already knew. i knew areas where i was lacking, areas i needed improvement, and a couple areas i was doing ok at. i told nic, if i want six kids i have to be the best mom i can be. if i want number three i have to take control and be on top of these two.
so i went to work. i enforced bedtime, five nights in a row. five nights in a row my children slept from 730/8 to 730/8. i scheduled playdates and ran errands that needed to be ran. i enjoyed being a momma and read more books in a week then i had in all of january. i sat on the floor. i curled ruby's hair at 7pm and put on lip gloss and blush because playing dress up is so fun and she'll only be three years old for twelve months. and she soon won't think of me as the most beautiful mom, (she said that. i melted). i kept up on laundry and put it away. i wrote in my calendar and made plans for next week. i reached out to old friends and new friends. i started reading a book and watched not very much tv. i played with my sister, i put down my phone. i appreciated nic. i set goals. i smiled. i got ready. i swam in the deep end with one three month old and one wild three year old and loved it. i made yummy, healthy dinners. i read my scriptures every time i felt discouraged. i kept our room cleaned. i forgave myself. i didn't complain (as much). i planned ahead.
there are still 300 things i didn't do that i need to do. i'm not all i want to be. but, for the first time in a while i felt confident in my parenting, i felt like i deserved the love and sacrifice of my husband, and i felt the constant direction and presence of the holy ghost and its promptings.
this is a high. i can't wait for next friday, to see where i am and to see where i can improve. thank heavens that this life is a test of perfecting ourselves because i would never pass the first time.
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