i have wanted my fitz for over three years. i have wanted and ached and prayed and pleaded and begged for my fitz since i became a mom. i knew he was waiting for me, i knew he wanted to be my boy.
after almost a year of trying and two rounds of clomid, i ovulated. when that happened i knew for sure that it would be our lucky day. just a few days before nic turned twenty seven i tested positive and tried waiting until friday to tell him the big news. but i only lasted a matter of fifteen minutes before i went squeeling into the other room with his birthday surprise.
because i was beyond anxious to be his mama, i was induced the week before he was due. truth be told it was two weeks before i was due. and that's because i miscalculated my ovulation date. i couldn't wait. i realize now his health is probably more important but, i was 38 weeks which is technically the safe zone.
dr. merrill agreed to induce me a week early because ruby was so big when she was born and he kept telling me over and over again, there is no need to deliver a ten pound baby. so i accepted his offer and planned my induction for thursday, november 7, 2013. nic was really hoping i'd hold out until the 12th for 11-12-13. but i could not. i had waited long enough.
that morning i was supposed to eat breakfast, but we were running late and mr punctual hates being late. so i skipped breakfast and cried all the way to the hospital (i like eating!). we had purchased a set of scrubs that matched dr. merrills for ruby. she was my best big helper and came in with me to the hospital. i told the nurses i hadn't eaten as i was trying to chug a naked shake (yuck) and they told me to stop because i shouldn't drink anything. so now i was even more hysterical. my perfect day was getting off to a rough start.
our nurse's name was paige. because of my previous fabulous experience at riverton with all of the nurses i knew that she was the key to a perfect delivery. she told us we were her very first solo patient. she had just graduated and had been shadowing but we were her first real live patient. she was nice and kind and calm and happy. she was nervous but you could tell she was excited too!
nic and ruby held me as i got an iv. (hysterical! as usual) and they started me on petocin. nic was planning on working from the hospital and was busy with phone calls. my camera wasn't working and i was in an absolute panic about it. before 11, i asked ruby to grab my camera it fell down on the ground and broke the lens. i completely broke down. i was furious at nic (prego hormones) frustrated with my camera and anxious to meet my guy. i had a full on panic attack by the time dr. merrill came to check me. he asked if i wanted to go home and try again tomorrow or if i wanted some medication. i took the meds.
i now calmed down, katy came and ruby and nic ran to preschool. katy did my hair and made me laugh. nic brought katy and him back some lunch.
i was dilated to about a 4 and the pain was really getting bad in my hips. i was hoping to go further without an epidural but decided it would probably be best if i wasn't in pain. especially considering my full on panic attack over the camera. so i asked for an epidural. they came and got this one just right. i had wanted to wait so sammy could get pics of me walking down the hallway and laboring. because lets face it i just look like a whale in the pics, bed ridden.
sammy came to take some pictures. they checked me and i was at a six. sammy left and told me to call her when i was at an 8 or 9. my dad was pretty excited and took the afternoon off work so he could pick up ruby from preschool.
an hour later paige brought in another nurse to check me. it was almost 4pm. the other nurse checked me and then she smiled. she told paige to check me and paige is like what am i looking for, i can't feel it. which the nurse replied well what does that mean... i was at a 10.
holy cow. i was so excited. they called dr. merrill, nic called sammy. it was show time and we were totally not prepared for that. i told nic not to tell a soul. i think he texted maxine and jord and i texted les and shelissa. we were about to be parents again . since sammy wasn't there dr. merrill ran to change his clothes and put some papers on his desk.
sammy rushed in. dr merrill was getting set up. i was happy as i've ever been and feeling like a veteran. i started pushing and dr. merrill stopped me. he's like oh he's coming quick. two more of those. so i pushed again. and i could feel fitz dropping down. he was face up instead of face down so his little shoulder got stuck and they had me push a few more times. it was going so well. i'm actually the happiest pusher in town so i asked for a mirror. because it seemed like fitz was needing to be directed. even though i wasn't pushing hard i was still pushing and dr. merrill was manipulating him.
the mirror showed up and i went into a panic. it was the worst thing ever and so i had them take that out as fast as possible. sammy and i both were laughing so hard and i was so embarased that i ever thought it was a good idea. around 4:40 dr merrill told me to try one more push. and i did. they placed a sticky white, chubby, curly dark haired, baby boy on my chest. he was perfect. he was 7lbs 9oz and just the sweetest boy from the very beginning.
i couldn't get enough of him and they let me hold him for quite a while. dr. merrill finished me and they took baby fitz. i was so happy and so excited to be a mama again. we called my dad to tell ruby the big news. it felt like i'd only been there for five minutes. and my dad could hear fitz crying so he said, is that a baby i hear! ruby was pretty excited and the three of them headed over to the hospital.
fitz temperature wasn't going up enough and there was about to be a shift change so they were a little worried. i wanted to cherish the moments with nic and i so i kept telling them to wait until i was in post-partum to bring ruby in to meet her baby. as we rolled down the hallway i was snuggling the baby and nic said, he just doesn't look like me, does he! he really looked mostly like me and i felt like that from the moment i saw him. megan whiting was the cna in post-pardom and she was so excited.
we got all prepped and they sent in the happiest big sister in the universe. she just ran to the bed arms outstretched to see her boy. she jumped up into my arms and i couldn't quit smiling. the four of us held each other for just a moment but it was one of those moments that i have frozen in my memory. my parents soon came in to meet him. katy, colton, dom and tally were the next visitors. ricy, mitch and tami came right after. it felt so perfect to have most of our family in this room that felt like heaven. they were all oooing and ahhhing over our guy.
everyone left that night and i was lucky enough to stay. to stay in this little place on earth that felt just like heaven. holding and kissing and feeding and looking and loving this angel boy that i had pleaded and prayed and begged and bartered for almost three years.
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