Regulator.

When I was in the directorship up at Oakcrest Girls Camp, I worked with three of the most dynamic, faithful, fun, entertaining, and loyal friends I’ll ever know. I loved every moment of my time there, learning about being in a “presidency”, working together, and learning about myself.

We had nicknames for each other; Gecko-Hover, Mac-Clueless, Slaw-Clarifier. I was the Regulator. I have decided that the title fits me (unfortunate at times) all too well. I notice that as I ask Ruby to get off her chair to pick up the eggs she had spilled while she was eating breakfast, I notice this when Nic walks into the house and puts his Tupperware from lunch in the sink, and I notice this when I looked around my office this summer in preparation for Katy’s wedding and girls camp.

I am a great delegater. I can assign chores/jobs/tasks with the best of them. But, I then swoop on in and regulate how they are done or I just do them myself (which was the case of the eggs this morning and the Tupperware last night). It’s a bad habit in my family for at least these reasons.

1-Nic is dependable. Nic does what he says he is going to do, every time. He doesn’t do it how I want, he doesn’t do it when I want. But he never fails me at actually performing the task. I know if I left the dishes in the sink, he would have gotten to them. But, I am too impatient. Plus, I had just cleaned the kitchen. I also think I was happy to just do it, but wanted to ask him because I like to make sure he is helping around the house.

2- Ruby is learning. She is learning how to pick up after herself, how to sweep up, how to wipe up. She is learning to eat over the plate, she is learning to do chores and help around the house. When I interrupt Ruby’s meal, she gets distracted from eating. She will clean it up, she is the best helper and so what if smooshy eggs get smooshied in my floor, they can and will be mopped soon enough.

3-I am frazzled. My life is busy though I’m “just” a stay-at-home momma. Especially now days my life is filled with work, school, preschool, meal prepping, laundry, young women’s, cleaning, friendships/relationships, errands, drive time. And I can let go of a few of these things that I regulate, such as when the dishes are put in the dishwasher. I can give up one of the crafts at girls camp. I can ask for help and then… let the helpers help. I don’t let those around me serve me very often because I’m too busy regulating.

Though Oakcrest was seven summers ago, I am still learning lessons I should have learned then. I want to keep my abil ity to regulate and make things happen while still allowing others to do their part. I want to not feel like the weight is always on my shoulders. And the way to do that is by letting go, even just a little.

Kids on the Move and Puddle Jumpers Preschool.

The last two weeks have been emotionally a little trying. It has been busy and a lot of change has happened for our little family. The changes are all good and wanted but it has been an adjustment. For the most part of the past 18 months Ruby and I have gone to bed and woken up when we wanted. We have grocery shopped, swam, done laundry, and ate whenever we felt like it. Though there were times when we had set things to do, for the most part we have just lived this carefree lifestyle. I found it crazy that babies had bed times and nap times and snack times and meal times and tv times and that there was organization and structure in the world.I decided (well Heavenly Father decided) that I needed to go back to school. I graduated in 2010 and just needed to finish up a few things. Grades were really bad those last few semesters and I just didn’t finish as I should have. President Monson gave a talk about this, “Finishers Wanted” that I always kept coming back to and thinking of. Nic felt that same impression and has been very great at pushing me to do what is best for me. Which, as some and most moms probably know, ME isn’t really something I’ve thought about in the past three or so years. It feels good to focus on improving myself and making my life the best it can be. I know it will help my babies and grandbabies but most of all it will help me.It turns out that schedule wise, the idea of going back to school and finishing or fixing what I had messed up was in the cards for me when all the classes aligned to be close together time was and even though I have to commute four days a week, it just somehow worked. The schedule is trying and tiring and I’m only one week in. But I know that this will happen quickly and that these twelve weeks of my life will be valuable in learning the importance of structure and organization. I have already been longing for bed time and nap time and meal time and snack time. Wish I would have done things right the first time and just started it off like that. But luckily baby Jones number two is going to have this in his life.
My schedule is Monday and Wednesday from 1:00-3:45. This means we leave here at about 11:30 and take Ruby to “Kid’s on the Move” in Orem. She gets there at just after 12 which gives her the chance to eat, play and nap. I had heard a lot about the school from a friend whose goes there for preschool. But I found out they have a daycare too, and was really impressed with everything. I didn’t even go look at it before hand, because things just felt so great and everyone was so helpful I knew it would be a safe place for my Ruby. She has absolutely loved the first week. She was originally in a younger class, but as usual Ruby is a boss and moved on up to the older kids class. Which was really great since their nap time is later and she’s potty trained and looks like she’s five. So it’s good for her. They are teaching and redirecting things that I hadn’t really noticed (THE WORD NO!) and it’s just been so great.
I go to class during the time she is there, and my classes are really great. The requirements changed at UVU from what my major was. And the classes are all a little refreshing. There are familiar faces in the professors and luckily not many students that I know or recognize. I’ve felt so self conscious of this choice and just have such high hopes that it will lead to a bigger path and so I feel grateful for the chance to be there. I am hoping to go to WGU and get my Masters in Education with a teaching certificate. But I wanted to have these things taken care of before I started anything there.
Tuesday and Thursday are little more crazy. Ruby started preschool at Puddle Jumpers in South Jordan. It came highly recommended by a few friends who are ex-teachers themselves. Retired while they raise their babies. I met with the Owner this spring and fell in love with the place. Again, Ruby is the youngest but she fits in pretty great. I can see the things that make her two opposed to three and it’s been nice for me to try and work on those things (cutting, writing, colors, etc…) that she has an idea about, but doesn’t have down. And they are things I should have realized before. The example I was using, is Ruby knows her ABC’s song but she just knows the tune. She doesn’t know that there is a reason we sing A-B-C… Anyway. Great for Mom too. Especially because I want Ruby to take advantage of being born in October, and having those extra months to prepare.
I drop Ruby off at 11:25 and RUSH on Thursdays to Orem where I have a lecture series. My Tuesdays are less stressful because I don’t have to be there until 1pm. Between Katy, Grami, and of course the Scoob Ruby gets picked up at 2:35 and gets to share with everyone her love for Miss. Cassie, the projects and all that she learned in preschool. I feel sick that I am missing out on that. But at the same time, glad that I can have her picked up by people that love her so much. I am excited that after baby brother comes we will get to pick her up and hear all about her day first hand.
The first week of preschool was before I had started back at school, the first thing she mentions to me when she gets picked up is all about what the other girls were wearing and how their hair was done. I can’t stop laughing about it. Also, in the first two weeks she has tried to swap backpacks, and she brought a TANGLED toy for A-Week because Mom didn’t realize until asking her later what her friends brought to preschool that you were supposed to send something that started with the letter A.
I am so grateful for this time in our life. Even though I have felt like dying from the soreness of walking up stairs, running from class to class, driving over an hour a day, it’s just not the norm that I am used to. So, this has been a hard week but I am learning a lot. Now I have the weekend to clean my house, work, and do homework!

Our Week.

I can't believe another week has gone by, and that we are hitting the tail end of August. I guess it's because every week I feel that this sweet baby boy is coming so much quicker than I could imagine, and since pregnancy is measured by weeks they keep going faster and faster. Luckily for me in no time I will be holding my sweet lover boy in my arms.

Nic headed to Las Vegas this week for work. We sent him out on Monday, and were able to take him to Ruby's favorite place the airport. Poor thing gets a little disappointed when Dad leaves us and doesn't take her on the airplane. So, to lighten the blow of Daddy leaving us we decided to get donuts and help Gram get something’s moved out and cleaned up. We spent the afternoon with her and my Mom, which was an extra treat for Ruby to have both of her Grandma's in one place. We went to lunch and laughed. I love my Momma and MIL and it was nice to see them together.

Tuesday, we were extra busy because it was Ruby's first day of school! I couldn't believe my sweet little baby was headed to preschool, but right after dropping her off and picking her up I felt that confirmation that it was the best choice for that crazy, wild, and social Ruby Girl. She chose her outfit and we rushed (OF COURSE) around all morning. We were going to go to Las Vegas after and I was a little chaotic trying to get everything done before dropping her off. She was so happy to go, a little hesitant that I wasn't coming with her though. I spent the afternoon getting a pedicure, and felt the first benefits of having your kiddoes in school!

When I picked Ruby up she was trying to kife a backpack she preferred over hers. It was so similar but she was thinking it was just a little better than hers. After that was settled she immediately told me all about Miss Cassie and the girls in her classes outfits. She is so funny about clothes and wants the same skirts and outfits as the other girls. She wouldn't let it go, which stores have those Mom? And she is pretty set on getting a few more school clothes since she's seen the latest styles. Goose!

We headed to the airport and flew to Las Vegas. I felt like a pro at the airport, it was funny to get looks from people with my car seat, suit case, purse, stroller, pregnant belly, and enthusiastic two year old. But, it was no big deal. Ruby absolutely loves flying and that makes things so much easier. We landed and headed to dinner with Nic. We went to our favorite place, Lucille's and it was wonderful as usual and I'm seriously thinking for my birthday we will just go to Vegas for the day just to eat a little BBQ.

The week was actually pretty uneventful. We swam for the most part four or six hours a day. Ruby could have swam more but the heat was absolutely killing me. We didn't even get out to much shopping because it was so hot and we couldn't stand being outside. It is really great to be with Nic. He gets really homesick so to have us close by makes it easier. It's also nice for Ruby and I to be able to just relax and not have the distraction of a "to-do" list which makes it easier to be a Mom when all you have to do is swim, sleep, swim, shower, eat, and swim for almost a week. It's also a little boring because we don't get to see Nic but we are on a vacation with him. But, we're lucky to get out of town every once in a while.

We came home to a marathon of business. Nic had to finish the floor by Saturday afternoon, because we were having a shower for Katy's friend. We sold our couch and were taking Tami's since she is moving and didn't think it will fit her new space very well. Katy came over we cleaned and cooked and literally at 3:00pm the floor was done, and minutes later Mitch came over with the couches. We were rushing around, but it turned out to be the very cutest shower ever. I was so proud of my little sister; she did such a good job! Love that little gal.

Saturday night we were so tired we could barely move, and tried watching TV to unwind but we were both sawing logs five minutes into any show we turned on. Sunday was almost as relaxing except Nic was gone at meetings from 6am to 5:30pm. We had friends over that night and after caught up on our favorite show Breaking Bad. How does life never slow down for us, I don't know! 

My One True Love.

My One True Love.

Earlier this week I was asked about my wedding flowers. They were simple, and my mom ended up making them for me for a fraction of the price I had found anywhere else. I love deals, and my wedding was the ultimate deal. I went through pictures to send them off to her and again my heart melted.

My wedding day was so perfect, mostly because it was all about Nic and I and though there were things that might have gone wrong, the day the experience, the whole thing all together just warms my soul when I think about it. That is how my relationship with Nic has always been, just like it fulfills my every need. And though things might go wrong or we might disagree, we are incredibly lucky to have a marriage that doesn’t require much work.

One day, Nic and I had been fighting about something silly. I kid you not when I say the only things we ever really argue about are silly. Mostly rotten cherries or if the white garbage can is back in the laundry room or not. We used to argue about his family, but luckily we just laugh about most of the dramatics now. Anyway… I was taking a tub (the ultimate treat for a mom like me!) and I started to say a prayer. A prayer that Heavenly Father would help me get along with Nic, and endure this sweet life we have together. And… I got the most distinct impression that Heavenly Father was maybe laughing at me. Which is the kind of relationship I want with my Heavenly Father because I myself am a little sarcastic. But, in my mind I got this thought like, girl you’ve got it good. And to look around and see the many failing marriages and heartache in the world it seemed fitting to chuckle at my prayer over cherries, or the garbage can. Whatever it was that day.

Nic and I constantly talk about being a team, and how when we work together things get done and achieved so much more successfully. I love that I have the chance to work on this team with my sweet Nic. To love him and support him in all that he does. And I’m so grateful for his support. I wish that we had the chance to reflect on the memory of our wedding day more often, because it really was so perfect and the feeling of love and commitment was so evident in everything that happened and the eternal covenant we made. Luckily on days when I feel like my life is just the pits I can look at these pictures, or into the eyes of my sweet Nic and realize that life isn’t so bad after all.

Our Week.

It has been a busy week full of early mornings for mom and long nights for dad. Ruby, as usual, has been drug around from one end of town to the other, with not much sleep or consistency. This is something weighing on me to be better about and we are trying and slowly becoming more and more successful. 

We decided to take the carpet out of our family room and replace it with the laminate wood that is in the kitchen/entry/dining room. Our carpet is trashed, because I’m a slob and eat breakfast in front of the TV and knock over a drink every night onto the carpet. I think it will help when we rent it out next year, to just be a little more durable. I also think it will help make the room look larger. The project became bigger than we thought because we couldn't find a match to the wood. We looked everywhere, bought stuff on a clearance, and looked even more places. We purchased tile and thought about doing that, and ended up taking everything back when we finally found the matching wood. Thank you Facebook.

Nic took Monday off of work, he wasn't feeling great. Ruby and I spent the morning bumming and trying to find school clothes. We ended up getting great things at Kohls, Walmart and JC.  Something I love that is different than when I was growing up, is that I’m not bound to a store I have a charge card to. My ruby is such a shopper and moves in the dressing room like this is her full time job. I loved buying clearance shorts and "pris" for next year. And Ruby being so excited about all our new finds. We still need to get shirts but are headed to Vegas next week and I felt like we could possibly find things there, or at least give us something to do.

I had scheduled, canceled, rescheduled and scheduled family pictures multiple times since last October. I came to the sad realization that I never got pictures of two year old Ruby, and that soon enough our family would be different and I wanted to capture us now.  Before all the big changes that are headed our way. we went to Camera Shy in West Jordan, and I was really impressed. I’m a sucker for professional pictures and thought that they did a great job. We celebrated our family of three at Chili's thanks to gift cards from the Barlow’s.

Ruby had preschool orientation this week. It was a busy morning of rushing, and not as I had planned. But I had planned and was frustrated that my plans were foiled. She spilled on her white shirt and ripped her new folder. When we got there we were five minutes late and I was frazzled. I turn into such a mean mom and I am working on it. Ruby was really excited to go and meet Miss. Cassie, but turned super shy when we walked in. They handed me paperwork, Miss. Cassie came out and we had a little evaluation. I had planned to prep Ruby for all of this, but ran out of time the morning of. Eventually, Ruby lightened up a little and I was reading through all these rules and policies and bawling quietly in the corner as Ruby forgot how to count, say her ABC's, and her shapes. Luckily she nailed the colors and I felt calmer. She did show Miss. Cassie her funny face, which is all she has been talking about. I felt calm(er) as we left and excited for the upcoming week ahead. Still I am nervous to send my truest little lover away for a few hours twice a week.

Grami is moving and Nic spent time helping with that. It's sad for him to see his childhood home go. But also exciting for Tam to see the adventure that awaits her. She is wonderful, and I’m so grateful for these past few months because I’ve learned more about her and grown an appreciation and love for her I did not have before. She is funny, quirky, and strong willed. She also raised an incredible, bull headed, hard working, and adorable little boy into my sweet Nicholas. and I am forever grateful. 

Friday, Leslie invited us to her White Coat Ceremony. Should that even be capitalized? I don’t know. All I know, is I love my sweet Lester Jean. I actually can’t get enough of her whole family. We were so excited to go and see her “being a doctor” as Ruby called it, and of course to see Jaynie and to squeeze Harvey again. Les really is amazing, and I feel/see the hand of the Lord in her life as we’ve watched the McNaughtan’s go through this experience of getting into medical school. She is awesome, and will do more good for the world than most.

We spent our Friday night, satisfying a gross/random craving for Panda Express. It made me miss Heather. Nic had another meeting with the stake, and as usual Nic was so nervous. My sweet Nic. He is such a good good man. I love that I am “safe” from worrying about what calling I will get next, because I know Nic will get us to heaven because of his dedication to the Lord and the gospel. I also know callings don’t get you to heaven but service does and Nic is great at serving the Lord wherever he is needed. Plus, being camp director is literally my dream calling so I’m hoping to not be released for at least another fifty years or so. We rented redbox movies and stayed up until after midnight, rebels! That hasn’t happened in too long. It was perfect. The weekend was lazy, and not so productive.

We ended our weekend by meeting baby McCoy. The Swensen’s newest addition. Ruby and Conner are just about the same age (two months apart) and McCoy and Baby Jones #2 will be about the same distance apart (three months). I’m absolutely smitten with their little girl, and keep saying as much as I love the boys, she is my favorite. It just makes me extra baby hungry for sweet baby Jones. I need time to stop and move quicker all at the same time.

The weeks just go by so quickly and I am missing out on the little things. Like trips to the gas station with monies Ruby earned herself from helping her Momma clean the house and her room. I am missing out on her sweet voice as she sings her baby Minnie to sleep. Or the many times a week Nic does something to serve me or make me happy and I don’t even write them down or sometimes I don’t notice. Like, how he turned around (he hates backtracking) to grab us courtesy cones from Arctic Circle even though we were in a hurry and even though it was time for dinner. These moments don’t last forever.