kevin fitzgerald jones.

i knew that a boy would be different from a girl. everyone was talking about it. i also knew that my second pregnancy was very different from the first, so no doubt about it things would be a little bit different.

i didn't get sad until the very end. when i held my best little girlfriends hand and told her over and over again how happy that her baby brother was going to be to finally meet her. we'd talk about what she would do, and she always said she'd scream. she'd show off her silly face. and she would remind him that she was "BIG SIS".

bro came.

it was a magical moment in my life. magic isn't the word, it was more soft than magic. it wasn't surprising how easily he came or how happy i felt to hold him and share my new love with my true love. the best part was having our whole family gathered hours after our boy arrived and feeling so close to heaven.

the argument on his name was tiring and frustrating. but i knew whatever name he went by he would always be mine.

the love i have for my sweet angel boy is so refreshing. his presence is the calming force i need in my life. he just holds my attention when i am near him. because he is so pure and reserved. he is all i ever wanted and i thank the my heavenly father for blessing me when he saw fit.

fitz birth story.

i have wanted my fitz for over three years. i have wanted and ached and prayed and pleaded and begged for my fitz since i became a mom. i knew he was waiting for me, i knew he wanted to be my boy.

after almost a year of trying and two rounds of clomid, i ovulated. when that happened i knew for sure that it would be our lucky day. just a few days before nic turned twenty seven i tested positive and tried waiting until friday to tell him the big news. but i only lasted a matter of fifteen minutes before i went squeeling into the other room with his birthday surprise.

because i was beyond anxious to be his mama, i was induced the week before he was due. truth be told it was two weeks before i was due. and that's because i miscalculated my ovulation date. i couldn't wait. i realize now his health is probably more important but, i was 38 weeks which is technically the safe zone. 

dr. merrill agreed to induce me a week early because ruby was so big when she was born and he kept telling me over and over again, there is no need to deliver a ten pound baby. so i accepted his offer and planned my induction for thursday, november 7, 2013. nic was really hoping i'd hold out until the 12th for 11-12-13. but i could not. i had waited long enough.

that morning i was supposed to eat breakfast, but we were running late and mr punctual hates being late. so i skipped breakfast and cried all the way to the hospital (i like eating!). we had purchased a set of scrubs that matched dr. merrills for ruby. she was my best big helper and came in with me to the hospital. i told the nurses i hadn't eaten as i was trying to chug a naked shake (yuck) and they told me to stop because i shouldn't drink anything. so now i was even more hysterical. my perfect day was getting off to a rough start.

our nurse's name was paige. because of my previous fabulous experience at riverton with all of the nurses i knew that she was the key to a perfect delivery. she told us we were her very first solo patient. she had just graduated and had been shadowing but we were her first real live patient. she was nice and kind and calm and happy. she was nervous but you could tell she was excited too!

nic and ruby held me as i got an iv. (hysterical! as usual) and they started me on petocin. nic was planning on working from the hospital and was busy with phone calls. my camera wasn't working and i was in an absolute panic about it. before 11, i asked ruby to grab my camera it fell down on the ground and broke the lens. i completely broke down. i was furious at nic (prego hormones) frustrated with my camera and anxious to meet my guy. i had a full on panic attack by the time dr. merrill came to check me. he asked if i wanted to go home and try again tomorrow or if i wanted some medication. i took the meds.

i now calmed down, katy came and ruby and nic ran to preschool. katy did my hair and made me laugh.  nic brought katy and him back some lunch. 

i was dilated to about a 4 and the pain was really getting bad in my hips. i was hoping to go further without an epidural but decided it would probably be best if i wasn't in pain. especially considering my full on panic attack over the camera. so i asked for an epidural. they came and got this one just right. i had wanted to wait so sammy could get pics of me walking down the hallway and laboring. because lets face it i just look like a whale in the pics, bed ridden. 

sammy came to take some pictures. they checked me and i was at a six. sammy left and told me to call her when i was at an 8 or 9. my dad was pretty excited and took the afternoon off work so he could pick up ruby from preschool. 

an hour later paige brought in another nurse to check me. it was almost 4pm. the other nurse checked me and then she smiled. she told paige to check me and paige is like what am i looking for, i can't feel it. which the nurse replied well what does that mean... i was at a 10. 

holy cow. i was so excited. they called dr. merrill, nic called sammy. it was show time and we were totally not prepared for that. i told nic not to tell a soul. i think he texted maxine and jord and i texted les and shelissa. we were about to be parents again . since sammy wasn't there dr. merrill ran to change his clothes and put some papers on his desk. 

sammy rushed in. dr merrill was getting set up. i was happy as i've ever been and feeling like a veteran. i started pushing and dr. merrill stopped me. he's like oh he's coming quick. two more of those. so i pushed again. and i could feel fitz dropping down. he was face up instead of face down so his little shoulder got stuck and they had me push a few more times. it was going so well. i'm actually the happiest pusher in town so i asked for a mirror. because it seemed like fitz was needing to be directed. even though i wasn't pushing hard i was still pushing and dr. merrill was manipulating him. 

the mirror showed up and i went into a panic. it was the worst thing ever and so i had them take that out as fast as possible. sammy and i both were laughing so hard and i was so embarased that i ever thought it was a good idea. around 4:40 dr merrill told me to try one more push. and i did. they placed a sticky white, chubby, curly dark haired, baby boy on my chest. he was perfect. he was 7lbs 9oz and just the sweetest boy from the very beginning. 

i couldn't get enough of him and they let me hold him for quite a while. dr. merrill finished me and they took baby fitz. i was so happy and so excited to be a mama again. we called my dad to tell ruby the big news. it felt like i'd only been there for five minutes. and my dad could hear fitz crying so he said, is that a baby i hear! ruby was pretty excited and the three of them headed over to the hospital.

fitz temperature wasn't going up enough and there was about to be a shift change so they were a little worried. i wanted to cherish the moments with nic and i so i kept telling them to wait until i was in post-partum to bring ruby in to meet her baby. as we rolled down the hallway i was snuggling the baby and nic said, he just doesn't look like me, does he! he really looked mostly like me and i felt like that from the moment i saw him. megan whiting was the cna in post-pardom and she was so excited.

we got all prepped and they sent in the happiest big sister in the universe. she just ran to the bed arms outstretched to see her boy. she jumped up into my arms and i couldn't quit smiling. the four of us held each other for just a moment but it was one of those moments that i have frozen in my memory. my parents soon came in to meet him. katy, colton, dom and tally were the next visitors. ricy, mitch and tami came right after. it felt so perfect to have most of our family in this room that felt like heaven. they were all oooing and ahhhing over our guy. 

everyone left that night and i was lucky enough to stay. to stay in this little place on earth that felt just like heaven. holding and kissing and feeding and looking and loving this angel boy that i had pleaded and prayed and begged and bartered for almost three years. 

Grateful

As we get closer to the great month of November I have thought a lot about all that I have to be grateful for. My complaints he last few weeks have been many, but as the seasons change and I reflect on being a Momma (Rubes birthday) and being a wife (4 years!) I realize that I'm so lucky!!!! So blessed.

My professor told me about her friend who has a blog so I wanted to check it out tonight. I read this post and felt like I should complete this excel sir, while Ruby's asleep and Nic's at meetings. I have a few moments to myself.

• List 10 living people you are grateful for.
• My Nic
• My Ruby
• My little man!
• My Mom
• My Dad
• Katy Bugs
• Leslie
• Shelissa 
• The Prophet
• Jenelley

•  List 10 people who have died you are grateful for.
• Nana
• Grandpa 
• Di!
• The Savior 
• My ancestors
• Joseph Smith 
• List 10 physical abilities you are grateful for.
• Read!
• Write
• Learn
• Run!!!
• Cook
• Kiss 
• Give birth to babies and carry them for 40 long weeks!
• That I can create things! (Especially Photoshop things)
• See and hear and feel and touch and taste the world around me
• Sleep (because sometimes I can't!)
• 
  
• • List 10 material possessions you are grateful for.
• Our two reliable, comfortable, efficient cars!!!
• A beautiful home filled with too many possessions 
• Books! I love them.
• My Nannys ring, it means a lot to me.
• My camera it's the nicest thing I've ever had
• Food that fills our pantry our fridge and our freezer and I still feel like we often have nothing to eat in our house
• Our many apple devices. I'm an addict. 
• Bath tubs I couldn't live without one and we have two
• ?
• ?

• • List 10 things about nature you are grateful for.
• Oceans
• Rivers
• Lakes
• Sunsets
• Sunrises
• Mountains to climb
• Fall leaves
• Snow!!!!
• The smell of campfire
• The stars whe. You're far away from the city

• • List 10 things about today you are grateful for.
• Ruby coming to my bed at 4am because Tangles had fallen in the cracksrs
• Nic leaving early and me feeling him kiss my belly and kiss me
• Ruby asking me to wake up because it was light outside
• Being able to buy and be giddy over four new children's books for rubyysa
• Sitting in class and realizing how grateful I am to be where I am in life and feeling sad that these times go and come so quickly 
• Watching leaves fall
• Nic's patience and frequent texts that he loved me today and both laughing over everything that happens to go wrong in our days. What can we do?
• Texting my mom this morning to thank her for spoiling my babies as usual Scoob fashion
• An 830 bedtime and routine that went perfect and included bath time, teeth brushed, 30 minutes of snuggling and reading books, scriptures, prayer and one super ruby girl
• Netflix!!!!

• • List 10 places on earth you are grateful for.
• My home
• Wisconsin
• Oakcrest
• Target
• The journal isle at every store
• My bedroom
• The temples!
• My moms kitchen 
• Nic's arms
• Any hotel room

• • List 10 modern-day inventions you are grateful for
• Blogging
• Social media
• Washing machines and dryers (still holding out hope for a folder)
• Netflix
• The new revelation for missionary age

• • List 10 foods you are grateful for.
• Mexican food in all forms
• Raspberries, Mangos and Peaches
• Asparagus
• Dunford .99 cent bread
• Good salad dressing
• Lucille's BBQ
• Shakes from Iceberg
• Home cooked anything especially when I follow a meal plan and grocery list
• Brunch!
• Diet Coke, Apple Juice and Water from a bottle 
• 
  
• • List 10 things about the gospel you are grateful for.
• That it provides a blueprint of how to live your life
• That there is always a way back and an option to change
• That I'll never be perfect but I can constant try
• That right and wrong exist
• That we are all children of God
• That temple ordinances are real and I have an eternal family
• That the priesthood is in my home and that the roles of women and men are divine and clearly appointed
• That I live in a time of modern day revelation
• The young women's program
• I'm Mormon: I know it I live it I love it

Our Week.

Our Week.

It seems like things are the same every week, so I sometimes have a hard time keeping track. I mostly track things by looking at what we ate for dinner. Which makes me laugh, but that is the one thing that is usually different from night to night, but usually one night a week we eat tacos and we could probably eat them more than that. We had a horrible meal week last week and so that’s all I remember. Not to make those meals again!

Monday we had a great meal! But, we really had the best company. We went to meet baby Nolan and see Mary and Andrew in Bountiful. I can’t say enough how funny Andrew is and Nic thinks I’m so weird for telling him all the time. But, then we hang out with them and he agrees. HA! Baby Nolan is so sweet and it was great to see a baby boy, it curbs my craving for our little guy to come. Even if it’s just for a minute. And then I leave and all I can think about is getting my guy here. I also love seeing my best guy friends being dads! It’s so weird to me and so exciting. I think that their babies and wives are lucky to have them. We did enjoy a little drive to Bountiful and seeing the temple, Nic didn’t know that was the temple I was endowed in. So you learn something new everyday. How he didn’t know that was my fav Utah temple, I’ll never know.

Something I’ve really been trying to do is to go to Dunford once a month or so to get bread. It’s my favorite little tradition. They have .99 cent bread on Monday’s and it’s delicious. I just feel like it’s a domesticated thing to do. I feel like a real stay at home Mom or something when I do things like that, I mean I’d feel really great about myself if I was making bread every Monday. But until then, I’ll just stick with the .99 cent bread. And Ruby and I love the donuts too!

Tuesday Nic had the day off, but mostly just worked from home. It’s something we’ve been struggling to find balance in lately. Me finding the balance of not complaining and Nic realizing that he goes WAY above and BEYOND to answer the phone every single time it rings, schools even on Saturdays, even when he has a day off. I love my guy! Ruby had preschool, and Nic took me to lunch. A little date for the two of us, without Ruby. It doesn’t happen as much as we should make it. And then I was headed down to Orem. I texted Nic at around 2:00 to make sure he was headed to pick up Ruby. Well… long story short he got locked out, panicked and drove straight home from school. Well by the time I got home they were already inside. Poor Rubes! Nic still blamed the keys not being in his pocket on me though!

We had a fun little family night and went park hopping with the Ruby girl. She is so easily amused and sometimes we try to do something crazy, but really all the girl wants is a park and swings. She is so darn brave, that we can’t swing her high enough. She scares me to death, she’s such a dare devil.

Wednesday I had a doctors appointment to check on Baby Jones #2. He is doing great, I loved having the earliest appointment, because I was in and out really quickly. Dr. Merrill’s office is always running a little behind. Ruby and I were pretty proud of ourselves for being ready to go and getting to our appointment on time. They are still unsure on his due date. He is big, I am small. I am happy though. After we ran errands for Ruby’s birthday party and got a few looooong shirts for me since my belly is showing off to the world. And luckily with a bunch of Kohl’s coupons it wasn’t too bad. We then went to a play place Ruby’s favorite and waited for our Dad to get off work. We ran more errands and just got home in time to make dinner and get Rubes to bed. How do days go by so quickly, we don’t know!

I had surprised Nic by taking him to get his windows tinted on his car. We talked about it a lot with his TL and never got it done, then we talked about it with the Tahoe and never got it done. So finally we decided to go get it done on the Accord. I took him to work and we dropped his car off on the way home. This ended up taking forever since Nic works in the least convenient location in all of Salt Lake. ARGH!  We got home and the doorbell rang. It was Kara! She was already there to take Ruby to preschool and we were literally still in our PJ’s.

I’m so thankful for Kara, she comes to get Rubes every Thursday and takes her to her preschool for me. It really makes my life so much better. I love having someone to rely on and help with anything. Kara is the dearest, most thoughtful and funny person I know. She always makes things happen and I’m so grateful for her. Ruby gets picked up by Scoob, Tam Tam, or Aunt Katy. It just depends on the day. We are lucky to have the help we do, it’s made this school transition so easy and so worth it.

Friday we spent cleaning like maniacs. It’s amazing how messy my house can get in a week. The bathrooms get dirty, the wood gets dusty, and the floors look like we run a jam factory. They are always sticky and I’m dying about how it happens so quickly. I always want this gigantic house, I dream of it. I’ve built and rebuilt every room in my dream house in my head. But, on Fridays I decide that maybe this little 1300 square foot condo is all I can take. I guess I’ll just have to set aside two days when I get a larger house, or make sure that my babies are good cleaners. We have Rubes off to a nice start. Her favorite chores are garbages, switching the laundry, and putting away the shoes. She’s actually getting pretty good at dusting and we’re working on that.

Friday night we had planned to go to the temple, but as you know… Nic is the worst at getting home on time. So we ended up making hoagie sandwiches and went to target so I could get a conference journal. Yes, I do have a drawer full of empty journals. But I still think it’s the biggest thrill of my life to get a new journal. It took me twenty minutes to choose one. It’s so funny the things that thrill me.

Saturday morning we had the YW over for a Waffrence as Ruby called it. The YW President made the cutest journals for everyone. We watched the Saturday Morning Session, made duct tape pens, and ate yummy waffles with a lot of toppings. I love and adore these sweet girls. The leaders and the girls are so dear to my heart. I swear there isn’t a better place to be in the church than serving the youth. They make me want to be better and help me to hold to the rod. After they left, we packed up our bags and headed to Las Vegas.

Nic ended up having to work Sunday and Monday before he had a conference Tuesday through Thursday down in Vegas. Since I don’t have the flight benefits we were kind of bummed. So we decided that we would drive down and visit Jo Jo and watch our favorite Red Storm play that night. The drive was so great, because I’m obsessed with listening to conference uninterrupted. It was by far my favorite session. It’s funny that the environment I’m in helps me to love the speakers and the talks more. I felt like we were getting just direct talks from Elder Christofferson, President Packer, and Elder Holland straight to the Jones’ home. It was awesome.

We stopped in St. George and had dinner with Jody after the game. I love that Nic loves Jody so much. I think the feeling is mutual. I think one of the things I’ve always loved the most about my Nic is that I feel like Nanny would love him the most. I think he just has the personality she loves. He would stop there every single day and take care of her. So with the whole Hood family, I think they all just like Nic because he’s so friendly and funny. He’s everyones favorite cousin and he’s only been in the family for four years.

We finally headed to the South Pointe Casino and got settled in our room. Ruby was a trooper the entire drive. She is such a good girl, she just couldn’t wait to get into that hotel room and go shwimming! She is just like her Mom. We got in and were getting things ready for bed and I look at Rubes and she is butt naked looking for her swimming suit. It’s about 1am and the girl can’t think of anything but swimming. Oh my heart. I love her, I love her, I love her.

Our Week.

Our Week.

Having any sort of plan during the weeknights totally kills our flow and lately we’ve had such a good flow of things, and dinner time and bed time. And scripture study time that it’s been really stinky when a night goes a little bit off of what we were planning on. With that being said, it doesn’t mean the nights aren’t fun when we have plans. Just means I am 33 weeks pregnant and a little bit meaner than my usual self. I love 8:00pm bedtime and I love having dinner at home more than I like eating fast gross food. That’s only good for lunch ;)

Monday night we were really excited to celebrate FOUR with the one and only Jane Jane McNaughtan. Ruby has a celebrity crush on this girl, similar to me in 89’ on her mother, Lester Jean. I don’t know why we’re so obsessed with these two, but we are! Luckily for me the love is now mutual, but Jaynie is still a little unsure considering she said, “why does Ruby like me so much, Mom?”. The party was right up Ruby’s ally, we had Hotdog on a Stick which is my personal favorite, so I was already impressed. After we went to Build a Bear Workshop (thanks for that correction, cousin Halle). And the kiddos made their own bears. Ruby was having a tough time deciding between the pink princess bear and the smurfette. She ended up with the princess bear and I realized how lucky Ruby was that a-Dad is in charge of finances b-he is the biggest spoiler I know (besides maybe Nana, Leslie and Aunt Kay!). Ruby totally ate it up and I was the most impressed I’ve ever been with a birthday party.

After the festivities we bowed out to get a crunchwrap supereme, my third that week. And headed home as fast as possible because if you should know, I turn into a witch after 9pm. Literally.

Tuesday I canceled my eyelash appointment (trying to learn the lesson that nights aren’t good for us!) and made tacos. Nic had meetings and wasn’t able to enjoy being at home, cleaning the house, a normal bedtime routine. But he did get to eat tacos which made him a happy camper. It’s hard to have him away all the time doing things for his calling but I am glad he is willing to serve those around us, because I’m not. Just kidding.

Before school I had to go turn in my computer for jetBlue and that was a little heart breaking. I’ve come to terms with my separation, but I still feel a little void in my heart. I know that it’s probably the best thing for my family, and it’s also seeming to be really good at relieving stress on me. But it still makes me sad, I want to be a contributor to my family and feel like the burden is even more on Nic’s shoulders not that my $100 a week was much, it was still something and I just feel a little disappointed. Nic cheered us up by meeting us for lunch at Pie 5 which is his favorite close to work lunch place. It worked because nothing makes my day go smoother than seeing my little cutie in the middle of it.

Wednesday night we met at the Swensen’s to enjoy time cuddling with McCoy and had breakfast for dinner with our favorites. I miss them, it’s weird how much busier life is for us lately, because we used to do a weekly visit. It’s now monthly, but we are so happy to have them in our lives. They are the funniest, most generous, and kind people I know. I am so lucky that Nic grew up next door because I think they played a major role in defining who he was and what he wanted. Now it’s fun to have babies (almost) the same age and go through life with them on their second set of kids.

Thursday Ruby and I rushed to the Dillards sale because lets be honest, nothing beats a Dillards sale. We shopped our little hearts out for Nic. He is my favorite to shop for, but he wasn’t in the shopping mood when he met us to grab Ruby for her first official fieldtrip and our time was wasted, I was late for class and I decided no sale is worth the chaos of going 90 mph on I-15.

Ruby’s fieldtrip went really well. AH! My baby goes on fieldtrips. I am so glad she has the kind of Dad who will take off work to be with his girl. Ruby looked darling and insisted on wearing a bandana in case she got to ride a horse. She was a little worried that the Big Bad Puff would blow down the pigs houses, but Nic sent me pictures of her holding his hand and I literally beamed with gratitude for this little family I’ve been blessed with. I can’t believe we are growing even bigger and more full of happiness.

I came home early from school because I was sure I had strep throat, and took a bath. I missed my Ruby but was able to take a three hour uninterrupted nap which doesn’t really happen for me because who has three hours and usually my body won’t let me sleep that long considering the constant aches of my hips. Nic came home and took care of me, and I still felt crappy but so happy to have company feeling crappy.

Friday, Ruby and I cleaned our hearts out and stayed in pajamas until after 5pm. I dusted every room, and scrubbed every floor. Which would have been just great except we left our windows open during the dust storm of the century and all of my efforts were foiled. Such is life, right? It’s usually that Ruby spills yogurt or chocolate milk on the floor moments after mopping, but this time the only person I could blame is mother nature.

Nic had scheduled me a massage, because he’s nice like that and he is sick of hearing me complain that my hips are going to break off my body. The massage was nice, but what is with these people thinking you came there to get to know them. I don’t wanna talk to you! We went to dinner after and I was pretty sure it was the perfect Friday night.

Saturday was busy and less productive, especially since it was re-cleaning every surface because of the dirty and dust that invaded our life. But, we made chili, homemade oreos, and lots of dip for friends to come over and watch the Go Utes! I love hosting a little party, and especially love when the game is close, I HATE BLOWOUTS! So it was really nice to see the Utes win and a happy husband. Ruby was the cutest cheerleader in town. She seriously, KILLS ME! How did she get so cute and so full of energy/personality.

Sunday we laid around and I was tired because of the busy week and the looming week ahead. It’s not that I don’t love my life but I feel like it’s groundhog day everyday and I’m so excited for my bub to be here and for him, Ruby and I to just be best friends and do fun things together! But, I do love school and I’m so grateful for this opportunity! It’s going to be a lot of hard work the next few weeks, because my body is giving me grief and school just seems to get busier. Why don’t teachers spread it out for their kiddos. Mean!

The Three Things I Learned on My Mission.

The Three Things I Learned on My Mission.

There were plenty of things that Wisconsin taught me. Plenty of experiences that shaped me to become the Mother, friend, daughter, wife, child, member, neighbor, or human that I am today. Things that I don’t recognize now, but I recognized then. Things that I do recognize now, that I never thought about then. I am sure this will be a pattern and years from now I will still think of the mid-western state of Wisconsin as my own personal, Holy Place.

I have often thought that Wisconsin was sacred ground. A place where blood, tears, and sweat were shed. I never have felt that my mission was hard. It was fun. It was happy. It was a trial. It was faith building. It was friendship building. It was the most perfect place and time for me. August 1, 2007 until November 29, 2008 was one of the greatest times in my life.

Nic and I laughed last night as we ate Taco Bell (second time in three days!) that we both discovered the ol’ crunch wrap supreme from our missions. And how grateful we are if that’s all we learned. But luckily I learned a little more.

PLAN

I learned how important it is to spiritually create something before you actually do it. If it’s something as simple as thinking up a grocery list and planning what meals you are going to make. I think the odds in my case are 90% better that we will actually have dinner at home then if I didn’t spiritually create the idea of a meal plan. That’s something that applies now to my life more than ever. I have to think through my days, my weeks and my months to make them happen. But it has a lot to do with spiritually creating goals for myself too. Creating goals that I will serve those around me before I actually do the service.

This happened just a few months ago, when I was continually thinking of my sweet MIL, Tami. Tam Tam (as Ruby calls her) is going through a divorce. I think any divorce is ugly and painful and sad. But this makes me even more sad because of my immediate (as in, I know this person so well/they are so close to me and my family) connection to one of this relationship. I had the idea or thought or prompting (didn’t recognize that then) to go and visit her at work. To go work next to her (she had just started at jetBlue). Of course I thought it was a nice gesture. But then I didn’t realize that spiritually planning to help her, would affect her so much. She always talks about how helpful that was to her and in creating a good situation out of a bad one.

And of course my story of Lori Edgar and the Leatherbees caramel sauce. It still hits home so many times a day. And I love the Lord for teaching me these things through fun experiences and not just through trials.

BE ACTIVE IN THE GOSPEL AND BE ACTIVE IN THE CHURCH

Truth be told, I thought all Mormons were the same before my mission and still before I got married. I thought there was a pamphlet on how to be a Mormon, and if you were you would follow it. I mean if you were committed to the gospel you were doing what you should. It was a lie. A hoaxe. Many of us Mormons get by with the bare minimum. But, there were families in Wisconsin who took me in and loved me and showed me that the bare minimum doesn’t get you far. It takes time, effort, money, energy to be active in both the gospel and the church. One isn’t sufficient and one will not bring happiness without the other.

Thank you to those who loved me enough to teach me this. I love you, forever you have shaped my life. Including Mama and Papa Barr who gave up their life for three years, grandbabies were born, children were married, missionaries were called but they left those things to serve ME! And I wanna be more like them every single day. So I’m starting by going to the adult session of Stake Conference. Because President Barrett said that is where the elect hang out, and I wanna be numbered with them.

THE LORD BLESSES US

Oh my goodness! I think the phrase I used the most in 18 months, (besides “get me out of here, get me out of here, get me out heeeere” thanks Imogen!) was “THE LORD BLESSES US!” He takes care of his babies. He is the ultimate Father. And I saw it so often, so frequently was I blessed because of his care and his understanding of me, and what I needed. I have felt his hand in my life every day of my mission and literally every single day after. He doesn’t leave me, even when I’m feeling down and dirty and out and not worthy, he will never leave me!

Anyway… just a little break from doing what I should, you know SCHOOL WORK! But I love to talk about my mission. And I felt like I better write this down now before I forget how grateful I am for the great state of Wisconsin.