Cohort 13

See that little cutie second one in the top left. That's my husband and i'm pretty proud of him. 

Our original plan was to have him quit his job and start graduate school this fall hopefully in the great state of Texas. We rented out our condo, moved all of our stuff into storage, and moved in with my parents. Nic studied for the GMAT, wrote essays, and perfected his application. Just as we hit submit, Nic was presented with a wonderful opportunity and promotion with SGT. With the chance to earn an MBA at the same time. Nic loves his job, his company and the industry he's in and decided to take the offer.

It was for sure not the direction we thought we were going but with each step forward it feels like the place we should be. I am so excited for Nic and our family and the adventure that we are on. It's strange and hard when life doesn't go where you think it will and it ends up being where you need. The opportunity to build a new home, live, serve, learn, and work in the Las Vegas valley is one we are anxious to enjoy. Way to go Bubbah. You are the best.

me.

i have an uninterrupted weekend to myself. i am all alone in a hotel room. my dream. i have no kids, no husband (except in the evening!). room service. swimming pools. four books. and of course my laptop, phone and ipad. what the hell is wrong with me. technology is obsessive, don't you think?

one of the many things on my list of things to do when i'm not doing anything (i'm a list-er, ok!). is to blog. blog about life. our past, our future, my feelings, and of course my kids. but this whole weekend was supposed to be dedicated to flooring, me, and my marriage. here i am thinking about how dang great my kids are and how much i miss them.

what in the world is wrong with me? can't i ever just think about myself for like seven seconds. i know that i think about myself more than that. but really. i'm kinda getting bored. i want to go to the pool, but i get sad because i won't have my swimming machine with me. i want to take a nap but my boobs are too full of milk and i'd much rather feed fitz and take a nap then pump THEN take a nap. mommy woes.

if fitz or ruby ever read this blog in the future and think, my mom is a weirdo. they are probably right.


i am a weirdo. i am a lost soul. i don't know how to define me without being a wife and a mom and i find that pretty unusual.

so i will start by defining myself physically.

i am 5' 9" (even though nic thought i was at least two inches taller than that)
i have a chubby belly.
i like my legs and wish that i used them to run more often.
i have blue eyes, a big bottom lip and a very pointy nose.
i have stubby fingers and skinny wrists.
my ankles are smaller than my skinny wrists and sometimes i think i will collapse from carrying my body on such tiny ankles.
i like my hair short and blonde but sometimes grow it out (now) and dye it brown *yuck.
i don't pluck my eyebrows because it hurts too bad and always wait too long to get them waxed.
i wish i had teeth like dr. mcdonough teeth. i feel like i will make my kids go to him no matter what. best teeth ever.

i am not shy, but i have developed a little anxiety. all my life i made best friends everywhere i turned and now i kinda feel stressed meeting new people. more so i feel timid, which isn't like me.
i love to be happy and have fun. i actually feel like marrying nic has made me more thirsty for fun than ever before. he's taken all the red (power) out of me and made me motivated by fun.
i am obsessed with the color personality test and have been for about 11 years. i think about everyone by color and it's so weird.

i get really really really crazy when i'm hungry. it makes me think i am hypo hyper hypie glycemic or whatever because things get trazy. i cry, i yell, i sweat. it's a really rough life i live. just get me some food. it's gotten worst as i get older. it's like i never quit being pregnant and need that constant nourishment.

when i was little i had to have three meals (never snacks) a day. if we ate a late lunch or breakfast i would demand a third meal. i think this is where my above problem comes from.
when i said that i was a weirdo about meeting new people. there is one exemption from that rule. 12-18 year olds. i have a sick, weird obsession with young women and the youth in the world. i just like them. i am opposite of everyone when i say i'd prefer to teach middle school. give me some raging hormones, awkward brace face, i don't know if i should wear a bra or deodorant and i'm guaranteeing best friend status within a week.

i really really like being a mom. i get tired of it and i get impatient. but i think that having these two kids with me at all (or most) times is just the perfect antidote to me wanting to be everyones best friend. i love story time, bath time, pregnancy, dress up, tag, swimming lessons, i love it all. i never realized i would like it so much. but i really just enjoy my role as a mom. i like solving problems and working on different things. i enjoy sleep training, potty training, teaching rub letters and fitz how to crawl. i like it. i like being the one who knows how to fix them and i like the challenge of not knowing how to fix them and researching, praying, brainstorming and coming up with solutions that will make life better.

i love to cook. i really really like to make food for my family and friends. i like recipe books and blogs. i like grocery shopping and meal planning. it brings me this weird satisfaction. and i am pretty good at it. because cooking is actually easy, you just follow instructions. i don't like when i don't have what i need to make something i want though. then i like cafe rio.

i love using the last bit of anything. toothpaste, peanut butter, i love scraping it out. i never EVER would open two of the same thing. and when people do. it makes me go trazy (nic).

i want to be a runner. it's one of my life goals. really it's my goal to run a marathon by the time i'm 30. and i love it. i'm not good at it. i'm not consistent. but i enjoy it. i think it makes me feel like i'm a superhero.

when i love something, i get a little obsessive. i think about the things i like and i realize that it's pretty weird how much i like them. wisconsin, yw, girls camp, oakcrest, ice cream (not yogurt, not soft serve, but an actual scoop of ice crea!), tatziki sauce, pie crust, my little sister, the burton girls, leslie, my kids, my dad, my husband, netflix marathons, take out, eating in bed, summer, fake eyelashes, planning, pennant banners, pens, organization, long drives, the fall, hotels, vacations, disney, books, reading, social media, the gospel, the book of mormon, all things "mormon", my nanny, games, outside, camping, sales, new clothes, toms, wedge sandals, chambray shirts, pinstripes, side braids, water in a bottle.

my right eye is horrible. i can't see very well.

two bedrooms one bath.

i wanted to write down these thoughts of the experience of living with my parents. i cannot fully express how grateful i am to be born to these two sweethearts. they are generous beyond measure. the older i get the more i experience other parents and the more i recognize that i was given the cream of the crop.

even though i feel like this, there have still been funny and trying things that have come about over five months. can you even believe that i have lived here for five months. it seems like a lifetime ago that we had our own home. that we had a schedule. that we cooked out of our cabinets and fridge. that we laid on a couch and watched a movie together.

through this experience i have grown closer to my husband. the single greatest blessing of living with grandpa babaloo and grandma scooby is that they LOVE their grand babies. you've never ever met two souls who adore these babies of mine. we can't leave the house without the option of leaving our sweet kiddos. each time they leave the home they bring back a prize for ruby and fitz.

it is hard to shove everything we need on a day to day basis in the bedrooms.

my life in a hotel room.

i'm looking around this messy hotel room.

fitz didn't sleep last night, which is very un-fitz like. he loves his sleep. he loves food and sleep. those are his two loves.

ruby loves swimming and mom.

i love my family. i love that we are a team. i feel so complete and happy when the four of us are together. and that is why we drive twelve hours every week just to be together. it is worth it. it is worth not having a schedule, eating out of a cooler, and switching beds three times a night. because these babies and my guy are so worth it.

our house should be done in 46 days. we are counting. we are hoping it will be done sooner than that. we are hoping it's really 39 days. or 32 days. we are ready.

on tuesday we drove here, after ruby's fabulous preschool program. we grabbed cafe rio (which is right by our house) and drove to our construction site. it's drywalled. we were thrilled. we all kept saying it. even rubes, i can't believe the drywall!

we ran up the stairs and ate cafe rio on a blanket in the BRAG. it was fabulous and fun. i think it was one of the best dinners of my whole life.

i want to remember how happy i feel. i want to remember that this transitional period and the last six months were worth it. they have been filled with spiritual promptings and confirmations. they have lead us to the most perfect home. they have been exactly what we needed.

Fitz: Seven Months

my angel boy is seven whole months old. seven is big, it's bigger than six. and i feel like once we hit six months we're on a downhill slope of not being a baby anymore. heart broken mama over here. being a mom to fitz has refined me. it has made me better, happier and for sure helped me feel more complete.

we like to call fitz a series of names. kfj, mr. fitz, fitzaroo, the fitz, fitzharold, fitzarelli, bro, brobro, bubbah boy, boyfriend, the boyf, hubba dubba, buckaroo, my guy. oh how loved this boy is.

fitz is good to the core. he is so happy and calm. it's fun to be around him, but he's so even tempered that you might not even know he is there. when ruby was born people would tell us to watch out our good luck would run out with our number two. but, history has repeated itself and we have an even happier baby.

our guy loves a schedule. he loves mornings and wakes up around seven refreshed and happy and chatty. he just talks and talks and talks. we are so lucky! he then goes back to bed for a two hour nap around nine. he takes two more naps in the afternoon sometime. unfortunately because grandma's house life isn't very scheduled and we're usually finding excuses to be away. playing our running errands we don't always keep the same afternoon schedule. luckily fitz is adaptable. he isn't the best car sleeper and wakes up when we stop the car. his bedtime is early. he likes it that way. just around seven he rubs his eyes and squeels when we put him to bed. he loves his sleep. he'll sleep usually until five and then wants a boobie snack. but falls back to sleep quickly.

fitz other love is food. we didn't know he had it in him because he hasn't ever been a big nurser or loved the bottle. it was just what he needed to survive. but now, he lives to eat. he whines and whines during breakfast, lunch and dinner. oh man he loves him some yummys. i wish he had a favorite food, but he likes it all; babyfood, table food, or dog food. if it's edible. he wants part of it.

fitz loves his dad. they are born to be buds. i knew that from before my ultrasound at sixteen weeks. he loves when dad comes home and they usually spend thirty minutes together in the morning while dad gets ready and mom salvages her last minutes of sleep. he's kind of a guy's guy. he likes boys already. he wants to be doing whatever nic is doing, watching tv mostly, he loves babaloo's remote.

fitz looks to his sister all the time. he just loves her. he wants to play with her and play with her toys and be just like her. fitz obsession with ruby is for sure reciprocated. they are best buddies. she can't wait to get out of preschool, she loves waking up and running to her brother. they play pretty well together and only fight over ruby's toys because almost everything we own is in storage. they have to share the few toys that are at grandma's. fitz usually wins unless it's pink, ruby is not giving up her pink toys.

we will miss not living with babaloo and scooby. we get lots of time being held, rocked, snuggled and fed with four adults around. fitz is a pretty spoiled guy. my mom holds him when i make breakfast or lunch and my dad has him when i make dinner. it's a good life for the fitz.

though he loves his dad, sister, and grandparents. fitz is a genuine mama's boy. his first word was mamammaa. he loves me. he knows i'm who feeds him, changes him, bathes him, and takes care of him. it is pretty nice to feel appreciated. the other night we had a sweet experience that reassured fitz knew who his mama was. fitz hadn't slept very well for two nights. which is very un-fitz like. he was whinny and tired and mom had enough. nic had taken him at about four, but he was back to crying. i could here him and nic trying to get my attention, but i just kept thinking if i turn the other way and not move maybe i could get some extra sleep. finally nic threw an empty bottle at my back and i shot up. i grabbed my whinny baby and he stopped. instantly. he stopped. i bounced him for a minute thinking if i stop and lay down he will cry again. but he didn't. he slept right on my chest almost instantly. oh how i love my mama's boy.

fitz has two bottom teeth and the happiest grin you've ever seen. he loves sitting up tall and rolling around. he wants to crawl, but we're in no hurry to teach him. he is one of the happiest people i've ever met and is so friendly. we love our guy more than words can express. it's so fun to be part of his family.